for the defeated suffer.
The peaceful live happily,
beyond victory and defeat.
Dhammapada 201
Those who live beyond victory and defeat are called 'the peaceful', not because they are devoid of feelings. They are not 'beyond victory and defeat' because they have somehow escaped all feelings of pain and loss. What they have escaped is the con trick of self. Self is like a rainbow: from a distance it appears real and substantial, but as you get closer to it, you start to see it is not so solid after all. If we hold too tightly to our sense of self we get lost in confused views about how to find lasting happiness. We believe that winning is all that matters, not seeing that in the process we cause suffering to others. If we hold too loosely to our sense of self we likewise get lost, this time from a lack of boundaries which leads to being overly sensitive and lacking in confidence. Self-respect and self-confidence are the natural consequence of a life lived with integrity and understanding.
With Metta,
Bhikkhu Munindo
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