with whom one feels at home is painful,
to be associated with those
whom you dislike is even worse;
so do not abandon yourselves
either to the company of those
with whom you feel at home
or those whom you dislike.
Dhammapada v. 210
Abandoning ourselves here means losing ourselves or losing perspective. It is thoroughly natural to experience warm-hearted caring for another, as the Buddha pointed out in his teachings on cultivating loving-kindness. What we add to that with our clinging, is unnatural, or at least unnecessary. And if we could stop clinging we might be more whole-heartedly caring. If we are not really attentive we could be harbouring some hesitation to truly care for others out of fear of becoming attached. With wise contemplation however, it is possible to care and at the same time be mindful of tendencies to attach. The only thing to be afraid of is the time it takes to remember to be mindful.
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