Wearing a Mask

I came across this piece on Quora, it speaks for itself - bless you Amanda..............

How do you feel, if vaccinated, about having to wear a mask to protect those who refuse to get vaccinated? 

Amanda Bankston, Hippie nursing student with a big heart and a fancy pen! 

I'm standing in the grocery store, safe behind my cart, politely minding my own business. The movement and energy around me is practically dizzying as I observe my fellow humans trudge along as though nothing is different. I have no idea how long I've been at the store - time moves differently lately - but I'm now in the refreshment aisle. 

For just a moment, my heavy heart is relieved of its burden by my brain. I think, “What shall we drink this week…?” as I stare down the row of various juices, sodas and Crystal Light wannabes. 

Just then, in the deli area behind me, a male voice becomes clear. He's not shouting but his voice is elevated. You can hear a demanding and questioning tone. He's agitated and aggressive, although I can't initially make out what he's saying. 

My fellow Americans around the area look up momentarily. You can see their questioning expressions, their perked up ears, their anxious feet. Some of us, myself included, pretend not to hear it while still mentally tensing. We're all ready to run or step in if we need to. We know this is how “things” sometimes start. 

It's finally clear that the aggravated gentlemen is merely the “Rights Warrior” of the day, as he starts to screechingly make his demands for all to hear: 

“NO, I WON'T go back and get my mask! I want my fucking turkey and ham! Is that too much to ask!? I should be allowed to buy food without having to give in to your conspiracy bullshit! Ya'll are living in fear of lies! I won't be one of the mindless LIKE YOU and follow this ridiculous mask shit, and if you don't check me out, you're discriminating!! I'M HUNGRY, DAMMIT, JUST LET ME BUY MY FOOD! I said, I'M HUNGRY!! … Even our Founding Fathers said, ‘Give me liberty, or give me death!’ Now just do your job and ring up the meat!” 

My gaze falls (unintentionally) on the Kool-aid as his last furious word is spat. Gazing at its cheerful label, I think to myself, “I wish we could have some, but it's no good for you…” 

So… 

How do I feel when I see others completely disregard science to protect their sense of intellectual superiority? 

How do I feel as I continuously am victimized by the “Rights Warrior” who feels the need to spew their diatribe at every given opportunity? 

How do I feel as others ignore the safety of the majority, for the sake of their immutable beliefs? 

How do I feel when I see someone without a mask, knowing that someone I love suffered greatly, likely due to similar selfishness, arrogance or ignorance? 

How do I feel when I realize people I used to respect and admire greatly, are failing their due diligence and mindlessly accepting false information regarding virology (a term they hadn't even heard until recently)? 

How do I feel when I see a fellow human being berating and bullying someone for wearing a mask? 

Or the opposite, berating someone for encouraging them to wear theirs? 

How do I feel when people choose to be selfish and unwilling to learn? 

How do I feel as I watch my country become further divided over something so simple, black/white, and easy? 

How do I feel when I see people refuse to cover their face with a little piece of cloth in public, because, they say, it violates their rights? 

I feel like I miss my fucking husband. 

Because he's not here anymore. 

If he were, I wouldn't be thinking about what beverages to buy. I'd know exactly what to get. He is… was… afterall, the only one that partook in these sugary liquids. 

Every unmasked face is a reminder of what could've saved him. 

Of what I lost. 

What my children lost. 

The hole in my heart. 

The destruction of all my hopes and dreams. 

And the implosion of my near-perfect life. 

So you wonder how I feel when I'm faced with that reminder and its noisy crowd every single day? 

I feel confused and heartbroken, even as I seek to protect those who actively contributed to the destruction of everything I hold dear. 

But mostly, I feel dead. 

And yet, despite the numbingly heavy loss, the emotional static, the disruption of purpose and heart, I will still wear my mask. 

I will wear it in the hope that I can save just one person from feeling like this. 

If only someone had done that for me.